I hadn't really noticed any real difference in my emotions.... until last week. I'm starting to understand what everyone says about the crazy hormones while pregnant. 2nd trimester has been a lot better to me but now I have more stuff to deal with. I've noticed that if anyone, other then a baby, starts to cry I will also start to cry. I'll have no reason for the tears but they will be there. Its quite annoying.
The biggest things I noticed that I can can fully put all on the hormones happened just a few minutes ago. I got home from work and I was hungry but I knew we had stuff to do so I was waiting to see what BJ wanted before I made dinner. BJ walked in the door and said we had to leave right away. I know its a very bad idea to go without eating so I made myself a small plate of nachos and left. I should have super sized it even though it wouldn't have fit that great in my microwave. I should know better by now. We are buying a car and using all our savings. We are hoping to sell our car before we leave to get back most or all of the money. I'm the one who takes care of the money. BJ doesn't know anything about our money situation. He just doesn't care really. I do care so therefore I pay all the bills and watch how we spend our money. Needless to say it scares the poop out of me to be using all of our savings to buy this car and not have a for sure that we will get it back. Add that to not eating enough. On the way to school after our errands BJ and I were talking and I was getting sick from being hungry and I snapped at BJ. To make it worse he tried to push it off like it didn't happen and I did it again. After that he got quite. I felt bad but I thought hey maybe we can pretend that didn't happen. While walking to the library to set me up so he can go to class I asked him if he was mad at me and he said no. I knew I hurt his feelings though. So we sat down and I told him I was sorry. I didn't mean to snap at him. I didn't even tell him I was hungry or really sick and tried from walking the short distance here. I just said I'm sorry I was wrong! He said it was ok and kissed me but then..... I started to cry. I felt sooo soo soo bad that I took it out on my poor loving husband who did nothing. His eyes got huge and said it really didn't mater and hugged and kissed me while I cried. After I calmed down he asked if i was ok and then i told him I was hungry. I was determined to stick it out though so I wouldn't let him miss class to take me to get food. And since i'm already stressed with money I refused to take the twenty and go get something to eat. In my mind I figured there are plenty of women out there who have to go through worse while pregnant and I've been super spoiled! I can wait 3 more hours for dinner...... I hope!
I still blame the hormones. I went from being super annoyed and pissed off to oh well doesn't matter to i'm the most horrible person ever in a matter of 5 minutes. I've snapped at him before and I always feel bad and there have been times that I have cried when I tell him sorry. But I usually cry because it took me at least an hour to feel remotely sorry because I like to pretend I did nothing wrong and find every way why it was his fault before I can admit I was wrong. I also haven't snapped at him very much since we got married and if I have I said I was sorry right away. Going from such strong emotion to the other in minutes is very new to me. And I blame the pregnancy and hope that my husband still likes me come May!