Saturday, August 28, 2010

Mountain Bikers

So as you know we got crazy cool bikes. Well we rode the canal and found we can go FOREVER along and have underpasses for all the major roades. We loved it!!! We had a chance to open up about stuff thats always been a touchy subject but on our bikes we were free to talk and enjoy each other. Then BJ wanted to go riding at night. So we bought some cool lights and then we got some sweet helments. We geared up with iphone, ipod, and camelbacks and set out.

North Mountain is about 3 miles from our house so at about 8ish at night we took off toward it. We got to the mountain and went to the back side. Its pretty flat back there so we took off. I wasn't thinking and followed my husband and he took a small hill that wasn't expecting and almost fell off my bike. ( I raise my seat so I can fully extend my legs so my tip toes barley touch the ground. Which i found out makes it hard when you are mountain biking because you can't put your feet down to stop from falling over).
I had never been real mountain biking before. I have always wanted to but the big hills seemed way to hard for me. Being on the flat was nice but I wasn't expecting all the rocks!!!!! BJ took off and had just had my little light and TONS of random jutted rocks and sand to deal with. He would warn me about the sharp turns and the sudden little dips and climbs. One dip was all rock and again I almost lost my life. Then we got to the point where we could just go all the way and make a circle home. IT was all down hill to the road. I kept the brakes on the whole way. BAD IDEA!!
My bike was going crazy! I fished tailed a lot! I almost ate it a lot. I got to BJ and he said I wasn't allowed to put the brakes on cuz this was the Thrill part
( we went to wet n wild... don't go it SUCKS.. and he was crying about the long rides and how amusement parks suck and lines aren't worth it. I explained that you waited 2 hours for the oh so very the top 30-60 sec thrill from the ride and that the 2 hour wait was soooooo worth it! He didn't quite believe me. We found out he just doesn't get as excited as I do so therefore he misses out of the thrill).
I was way scared cuz its dark outside and I can only see what is right in front of my bike and there are a lot of rocks and its super fast!!! He explanied that the street ride to get here was the line to wait and this part was the thrill so I therefore could not put on the brakes. Ok so i did it!
AHHHHH was it scary! I screamed a lot. I did put the brakes on once but it was a whole lot better then what I did before. He was right. It was the thrill part and so worth it.
WE made it 8.32 miles in 58 minutes! We love riding out bikes!!!!

Quadruple date with the Balls

Michele has been wanting to ask a guy in the singles ward out on a date. So she asked me if we would wanna double. We were all for it. Then we thought we should make Matt find a date and we could triple! Fun right!! Then Dan heard us talking and said he wanted to come so we did a quadruple date! I texted the guy from michele's phone (it was her first date since her divorce). Then I called the girl Dan took cuz he couldn't find a date and it was the night before the date and we had already got his tickets so I found him a date.

We all met at Micheles and then Danny had told his date to come an hour later then what we had planned. So we had to go pick her up then hurry to the 5 n diner. We all ate and told stories. Bj and I were the main entertainment with me telling him to mellow out and him going crazy. He gets super excited and hyper around big groups of people. Then all us Balls were talking and telling stories and all the dates were just sitting there very awkwardly. I thought it was pretty funny. Then we hurried out to Jesterz! They were soooo funny. We all had to slit up cuz we got there right when the show started. Best improv comdey place to go. Most of the people are LDS and its for families. I went to the Chandler YSA ward with one of the guys in the show. We were all very entertained. Then it was off to Michele's for homemade cheesecake.

By that time BJ was done being around people so we split at like 10:30. It was bed time anyways. All in all we had a lot of fun. It was a success for Michele's first date back and everyone else had a good time. Last time all us Balls will all be together to go on a date!

From left to right, Me, Jenny (Dan's date, I went to high school with her but she was 3-4 years younger than me), Dan ( bro in law), BJ (husband =]), Michele (sis in law), Jonathon (Michele's date), Matt ( bro in law), and Lauralie (Matt's date)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Hard times

So I go to work and the 2nd week and and one of my seniors comes up to me and says, Miss... I need to go get my one pills... I'm pregnant. I said oh, ok, how far along... about 6-7 weeks...

me.... stunned saddening slience... then ok go get them.

I tried not to think about. Then the next week from another student... Oh she is working here cuz she is pregnant. Then another ,oh by the way she is pregnant.

WHAT THE HECK!?!?!?!?!?!

All of them are about 6- 11 weeks along! So while I'm in my own little tourtous hell I get to watch as 3 of my seniors bellies grow the way mine should have been growing.

3 babies get to come into this world to single underage girls. one baby doesn't get to come into the world to a loving well prepared married couple.

I'm sure a miscarriage is hard for anyone that didn't want one, but for me I've been holding my head up high but dying inside.

We went to the temple on Saturday and thinking I would finally feel some peace, I realized how utterly scared I am to even try again at some point and how much I want to try again.

It gets harder and harder every day. I'm trying to find the lesson to be learned or the strength I'm suppose to find. But it just doens't seem to be happening.

I work with babies daily. I am now starting class which is all about parenting, families, human development. I'm surounded by things mothers do and should do.

Yet i'm not a mother. and want to be so bad it KILLS ME!!!!!

What do I do? I can't run away. I can't quit my job or school or stop going to church and watching moms with their babies. Or listening to all of the ladies at church talk about being moms.

I read a talk from last april's conference, Turn to the Lord, when I was in the start of miscarrying. IT scared me to death. We read again last night.

It was comforting and had the answer to how to keep going on.
" Hold on thy way. Giving up is not an option. And without delay, turn to the Lord. Exercise all the faith you have in Him. Let Him share your burden. Allow His grace to lighten your load. NEVER LET AN EARTHLY CIRUMSTANCE DISABLE YOU SPIRITUALLY."

As I read that, I felt...ok. I can't let this consume my life. I just have to be a good person. Go to church. Do my calling (which is a ward missionary.. i have more issues with that). Go to work and teach the soon to be mothers just how to be mothers. Go to school. Learn as much as I can.

Does that make the pain, the frustration, not understanding go away. NO!

But it does give me hope. It gives me something to think about when I just want to take my husband and go far far far away. It pulls out of my despair.

Keep on truckin right?! ugh =]

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Mountain BIKES

So Bruce sold his truck. We were planning on getting a family car then thought we could prolly make do with the car that we have now. Bruce wont have a way to work unless i got up early to take him and picked him up after i got off. He then wanted a bike. so we bought him one! Isn't it sweet!!!!

We went all out on it. It has the cool disk brakes on it so if you bend your rim it wont effect your brakes. We put the bag carrier on the back. It is pretty smokin!
I then wanted one! So we bought me one! Its black with green accents! Its so sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have a bike trail right along our apartment that we ride. I like my bike more then BJ's but he likes his bike more. Good thing we each got the one we like =]