Waiting waiting waiting

I can't stop thinking about labor and the many different ways that could take place. I can't stop thinking about how different my life will be in less than 2 months.

BJ had a seminar that was about 3 hours. I had homework and a quiz to study for but slept instead. We then stayed up and made cookies until midnight. BJ then woke me up at 5:30 am as he was finally going to sleep and I couldn't sleep anymore. I laid in bed for as long as I could and thought about labor. Then I really wanted a great breakfast! Eggs, toast, hashbrowns, bacon, orange juice, a bowl of fruit. We had egss and that was it. So I got up and went to the store to do our weekly shopping and to buy what I needed for my breakfast.

As I was shopping with no one else in the store and the stockers giving me evil eyes as I twisted around them to get the product I needed, I couldn't help but wish that my baby was here and shopping with me. She was awake the whole time I just wanted her in my cart instead of in my tummy. As I came home and made my big meal and ate alone I wished her turning all around and kicking was next to me in a bouncer.

I talked to a guy once about "being ready" for big events in your life. He felt that no one was really ready for marriage until after it happened. He also said no one can be ready to be a parent until the kid is in your arms. I 100% fully disagree! I was more then ready before my wedding day to be married. I also feel that I have been ready to be a parent since the day I got married. I really feel strongly that I'm ready to be this little girls mom. They say you aren't a mom until you push them out but heck I've been caring for this little girl for 33 weeks. I know her, I know her wants, I know her needs, I am her mother!

With each day I can't wait for her to come. I keep telling her she isn't ready to come yet and to not get any ideas but I am so ready for the reality of being a parent. I can't wait for the experience of going through all that pain just to bring her into this world. I can't wait for those loooooong nights and days of no sleep. I can't wait to hear those cries and try my hardest and figure out why she is crying. I can't wait for the day when BJ will come home and we both are crying because I am so over my head I have no clue what to do! I can't wait! I can NOT wait!

I'm going to have a constant little buddy depending on me. I'm going to have to learn to juggle school, husband, wife, mom all at the same time. I'm ready for that. I'm so ready I just want to blink my eyes and have be May!!!!!!!!!