34 weeks

~ Hands down the hardest week of my pregnancy. Even including all those weeks of being sick. My belly is just so heavy these days I hurt after 3 steps of walking. It feels like some kicked me in the crotch every single day. Any time she moves it comes with pain somewhere. You name it and it hurts!

~ Tried figuring out what contractions were this week. I'm pretty sure I'm having either braxton hicks or they are the real deal.

~ The doctor told me I was still big and next appointment he was going to do another ultrasound to see if she will be a 10 pound baby. He then said they would prolly do a c-section. After that all questions went out of my head and I forgot to ask about contractions.

~ After a day of crying my eyes out I figured I'd just change over to the midwife if the doctor feels a c-section is the way to go. I am not for that at all! So I will talk to my birthing class teacher who has worked with all of them and see what she says.

~ Pushing out a 10 pound baby sounds fun huh!

~ Toured the hospital! Its super nice! They have everything and do pretty much anything for you. All rooms are private. The labor room is huge! They have tubs I can sit in during labor and after if I want!

~ Took 2 baths today because I just hurt. They felt amazing and I will prolly take one every day from now on... if not more!

~ Finally figured it was time to wash all of her clothes and blankets. This picture pretty much makes my heart happy! It drives me NUTS when people fold their clothes and leave it on the couch. I refuse to fold my clothes there but it made me feel all grown up. Plus I don't have anywhere to put her stuff yet because we have yet to prepare her room for her!

~ LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL!!!!!!! I made it through my hell hole of a week and only had one melt down. I'm so proud of myself. I went 11 weeks of school being pregnant and had only one melt down and being stressed about school. One melt down is unheard of for me!

~ Checked out "The motherly way of breastfeeding" this week. My birthing class said, "If you haven't read a book on breastfeeding you are behind and need to get one tomorrow. NO matter what!" I guess I was pulling the rookie card thinking you have a baby and she latches on and eats. The more I learn the more I think WOW becoming a mom is hard work and takes so much out you! Its no walk in the park! We now are signed up for a breastfeeding class this next week or two.

~ I'm already leaking! Its not huge leaks but BJ thinks it is so funny. It started awhile ago but only happened a few times I didn't think anything of it. All I have to do is touch my boob and stuff comes out. Its kind of weird.

~


This song is by India Arie. Pretty much gets me through everything! I love it!

I’m having a private party
Ain’t no body here but me, my angels, and my guitar singin’ baby look how far we’ve come here
I’m havin’ a private party
Learning how to love me
Celebrating the woman I’ve become, yeah


I’m having a private party
Ain’t no body here but me, my angels, and my guitar singin’ baby look how far we’ve come here
I’m havin’ a private party
Learning how to love me
Celebrating the woman I’ve become, yeah

I tried to call my mother, but
She didn’t get where I was going
I called my boyfriend and he said
Call me back a little later baby
I hung up the phone, I felt so alone
Started to feel a little pity
That’s when I realized that I
Gotta find the joy inside of me

I’m having a private party
Ain’t no body here but me, my angels, and my guitar singin’ baby look how far we’ve come here
I’m havin’ a private party
Learning how to love me
Celebrating the woman I’ve become, yeah



I’m gonna take off all my clothes
Look at myself in the mirror
We’re gonna have a conversation
We’re gonna heal the disconnection
I don’t remember when it started
But this is where it’s gonna end
My body is beautiful and sacred
And I’m gonna celebrate it

I’m having a private party
Ain’t no body here but me, my angels, and my guitar singin’ baby look how far we’ve come here
I’m havin’ a private party
Learning how to love me
Celebrating the woman I’ve become, yeah



All my life (all my life)
I’ve been looking for (I’ve been looking for)
Somebody else (else)
To make me whole (ooo)
But I had to learn the hard way (ooo)
True love began with me (ooo)
This is not ego or vanity (ooo)
I’m just celebrating me

I’m having a private party
Ain’t no body here but me, my angels, and my guitar singin’ baby look how far we’ve come here
I’m havin’ a private party
Learning how to love me
Celebrating the woman I’ve become, yeah



Sometimes I’m alone but never lonely
That’s what I’ve come to realize
I’ve learned to love the quiet moments
The Sunday mornings of life
Where I can reach deep down inside
Or out into the universe
I can laugh until I cry
Or I can cry away the hurt

I’m having a private party
Ain’t no body here but me, my angels, and my guitar singin’ baby look how far we’ve come here
I’m havin’ a private party
Learning how to love me
Celebrating the woman I’ve become, yeah



Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday