Krystal Balls, RN
Helen was great to come up for 2 weeks so I could finish my Kaplan and study for the NCLEX. After Charles arrived I had no desire to study. But I still had to take my test. UGH. I would try and spend some nap times studying. It was easy with Charles but a whirlwind Rylee was hard. I just prayed a lot.
I didn't want to tell anyone I was taking the test because if I failed I didn't want to tell that I failed. But I felt that I that I needed to tell my family so I slowly left hints through out the day. I am so glad I told everyone because it was a huge stress off that I didn't have to be all quiet about the results.
People always say I felt everyones prayers for me. I never understood that. This experience made me understand that you really can feel when people are truly praying in your behalf. Thank you everyone!
I figured it would take me over 3 hours. Minium questions you can get is 75. Once you hit either pass or fail, the computer just shuts off. My plan was to be super calm until I hit 75 then start to worry when it would shut off. I was the first one to get there and sign in. I felt like if I spoke I would be arrested. It was the most intense process to take a test that I have ever done. Thankfully never again! We scanned my finger my palm my finger my palm. It was crazy. I can't even really talk about it because someone might come arrest me! So, I went in and was dreading the computer shutting off but not worrying until I hit 75. When i hit 60 I kept my eye on each question waiting for 75 so I could start to worry. At 64 the screen went blue and I freaked out a bit. How could I fail if I hadn't even hit 75 yet!?!?!? Well it was just the first scheduled break that I could take. I said no thank you and kept on trucking. At 74 I took a deep breath and thought okay now that I am at 75 I will answer some more then start to wait for the blue screen. I thought I would hit 85 before I would see blue. I answered 75 without much thought and BAM
blue screen. I couldn't believe it. The first thought was that is a great sign or a really bad sign. From getting to the testing center to being back at the hotel it was a little over 3 hours. When I called BJ he asked if I passed and thankfully I had to wait for 48 hours before I knew. It was such a relief for it to be over and I wasn't even that worried. Scared but not really thinking about it.
I wasn't sure I really wanted to see the results but I couldn't not look too see. I went on while everyone was playing and didn't really make it a big deal. I paid to see my results and I closed my eyes. When I opened them i saw
Exam results: Passed
Holy cow. I did it! Wow. I kind of just pushed the computer in front of BJ and showed him that I passed. The rest of the day he had to listen to me tell him that I passed! He and Rylee went and got me a card and all my favorite treats. We celebrated a lot. I just couldn't believe it. It still hasn't really hit me though.
My sisters made it a big deal which meant a ton! I feel very accomplished. Who knew you really can reach your dreams!
I started my first job as a RN and it is very true that nursing school does not prepare you to be an acutally RN. It just gets your through the test then you really learn it all on the first job. I am very overwhelmed with all that I have to learn after I just went through an intense year of learning but it is so worth it. I love that I can make enough money for my family to live off of and only have to leave my babies for 3 days. It is hard enough being away for that long I don't think I could be a regular 8-5 M-F job.
Another positive that has come from me working is Rylee liking her Daddy again. Rylee has always been a daddy's girl but since I have been home full time these last few months she started to be really mean to her dad. I haven't ever been home this much and BJ has always had days with just her, but tha changed when I was home. When Charles and I went to the hospital and it was just Rylee and Daddy she went back to being nice again. I think she just needs her time with her dad. After my first week back she now his little shadow and will ask him for things again, She is sweet and wants to play again. It makes BJ react differently to her when he has whole days with her and is a lot more patient too. I told him from day 1 that we are both parents and will spend equal amount of time parenting our children. He will have a relationship with each of his children and know them and care for them the same as I do. Working on weekends when he can be home all day is a huge blessing. Most dads don't get that and I am amazed each day at the benefits of Rylee having daddy time.