Grandma Mia visit

 We were very excited when Grandma came into town. She showed Rylee that the Ice Cream truck was more then just a cool van that played music.

 I realized I didn't take enough pictures of all the stuff we did. Grandma bought rylee a bunch of craft stuff and clay to play with. Rylee was in heaven. She went from one thing to the next over and over again.

 My sisters sent up a bunch of stuff that their girls have outgrown. Rylee had a hay day going through so many things that were just for her. She spent the whole time time dressing up in everything she could get her hands on. She then settled for her old giraffe costume.

 One night I caught my mom making herself a scarf for the upcoming winter. If she was bored I had plenty of crafts that have been put on the back shelf. I pulled everything out and we spent the day watching her make her magic. Charles was on his biliblanket the whole time she was here so we couldn't do every much but sit at home.

 Rylee loves to go to the zoo and has been waiting all summer to take her grandparents to the zoo. We saved out guest passes just for grandmas.

Mom really liked out little zoo. Its the perfect size for us. We had fun getting out the house, even if it was only for a little bit.

 I had this idea of sending out announcments for me and little man. I was trying to figure out when would be best to have a photographer take pictures of us then I realized I had photoshop and mom knew how to use it so why not have our own session for free! Mom helped me make my idea turn out. We tried several different things. This is one pose that I really liked. BJ and i made one up that someday I will get out in the mail. I think they turned out pretty good.

 This little man was with me for half the program. We made it through together. He is still my little study buddy too.

 Saturday there was the duck races so we went to the green belt to see what was going on. Rylee got to build a cute little boat. Then little man had an appointment so I took him to the doctors while everyone else stayed to play.

The got to see a car show and watch boat races. Sounded like a lot of fun. That was the most we got to do. With Charles being on the blanket and me not being able to walk super far we pretty much sat in our hot house all day. I was glad mom was willing to come and hang out. It's always fun to have family come see how you live day  to day and for her to see Rylee in her own element. Kids are different at home then on vacation. It was lots of driving for her but we were happy she was willing to come play!

Charles Xavier Balls

I had a week of Kaplan things that needed to be done but I was so ready for baby. I made an appointment on Friday to see if I could be induced because I thought I had to do testing on Thursday. Turns out I took my test on Wednesday so I called to see if I could go in on Thursday morning. I told my midwife that I wanted to be induced and she got me down for Friday morning. Helen, my mother in law, was going to leave Thursday night but decided to stick around to see baby boy. We went home and got everything ready for the next day. I was super excited and didn't think I would be able to sleep. 10:30 rolled around and I laid down to try and get some sleep.

I woke up at 3:30 am with a really bad contraction. I knew that I had gone into labor on my own. I laid in bed for awhile. They were coming every 5-7 minutes and lasting about 30-50 seconds long but the intensity varied. Around 4:30 I called the hospital to see what they thought about my contractions. The charge nurse said if my water broke to come in otherwise just head in at 6:30. BJ woke up and I told him to go back to sleep because it was going to be a long day. I got up and played on the computer for a bit. I thought I should eat something because it was going to be a long day but the only thing I could get down was a string cheese. Around 6, I laid down and just waited for my alarm to go off. BJ and I got up and stopped at Wal-mart so he could get something fast to eat. I had a strawberry milk which was amazing.

Once we got to the hospital the nurse, Debbie, got me all set up. I only worked 1 day in Labor and Delivery and I got to work along side my nurse. She was super nice and she said I kind of looked familiar. I told her I just graduated from the nursing program and she seemed to sigh in relief. She was excited that I knew what was going on and she didn't have to go into much detail. We got me all set up on the monitors and admitted. She was surprised at how regular my contractions were. The intensity  was still varied at this point. When she started my IV, she hit the release button for the needle on accident and blood just started pouring out. The catheter wasn't even in all the way. I apologized and said I bleed on everyone but that was more then normal. I was watching her do it and I saw what happened so I wasn't worried. That was the foreshadowing of being glad I knew what was going on. 

It took a while for my midwife to get the orders in for the Pitocin. We started off at 1 ml/hr. My nurse then left for a bit because she had to catch a baby. From about 7:30- 8:30 I felt like my contraction's intensity was gone. I was still having them but they didn't feel like anything. Once my nurse came back she turned me up to a 3 ml/hr. My midwife Courtney came in at about 9. I had progressed from a 2 to a 3 and was still 80% effaced and baby was at -3 station. She broke my water to see if that would help things along. 

We turned on the TV and realized there was a reason we don't pay to have it. Nothing was on. We finally settled on HGTV and watch some staging show the rest of the day. My contractions started getting more intense but nothing too bad. My nurse would come in every once in awhile and turn up the Pit. I was still laughing and just hanging out. It was super boring. I ate some graham crackers and drank a ton of water. I could not get enough water. I also had LR going and I hydrate really easily. I knew I was going to be up peeing all day. Around 1:30 I was at a 4 and still 80% effaced and -3 station. The contractions had picked up and around 2 I asked if I could get into the tub. My nurse wasn't sure because my water was broken so I went with the fentanyl. I knew it would wear off before baby came so no worries about baby. As soon as she gave it to me I hated it. My head felt like I was underwater. I felt like I had snorted a bunch of chlorine water. I got super nauseous. I instantly started crying. I just laid there breathing through the contractions. The pain med helped to make them feel like  I was at a 4/10 instead of 6/10 so I was happy for about 8 of them. Then it wore off and it sky rocketed back to a 7/10 pain. 

I was debating the epidural with my husband. I really really wanted to see what it was like to have the urge to push and to push with a contraction. I wanted to make it all natural. At this point it was 3 o'clock and I had been up for 12 hours and having regular contractions. I was so tired. I would almost fall asleep then I would have a contraction. I knew I needed to rest before pushing. I was thinking of pushing for 2 hours with Rylee and there was no way I would have enough energy to do that at this point. My nurse checked me and I was at a 5 and 70% effaced at -3 station. I told her to call for the epidural. Waiting for the anesthesiologist was the worst part of the day. I was at a 9/10 pain. My contractions would go from back labor to regular and then back to regular. BJ would have to push on my back during the contraction when I was having back labor. I could breath through the regular contractions but it was terrible with the back labor. I was trying really hard to breath through my nose and out my mouth but they were so intense.  Once the epidural was placed I had to breath through 4 or 5 of them before they went to just feeling pressure to nothing at all. 

This time around I still had that terrible tingly and numbness all over but I could still left my legs and move around a bit. That was a huge improvement over the one with Rylee. Before the nurse even left the room I was out cold. I slept for about an hour when my nurse came back in around 4:30. I talked to my sister for bit and the nurse was still in my room. That's when I knew something was up. She said baby was having some variables and early declarations, meaning the baby's heart rate was dropping before the contractions and at random times. She had my put on some oxygen. She hung out for a bit then left. She came back in and had me turn to my left side. She said I was having late declarations which means the baby's heart rate was dropping at the end of the contractions. She then placed a scalp monitor to get a more accurate heart rate. She hung out for a bit then went to call my midwife. I then explained what was going on to BJ and the different interventions that could happen so he wouldn't be freaked out. Courtney came in and watched the baby for a bit and checked me. I was at a 6 and 60% effaced and -3 station. She thought maybe if I pushed a bit and got baby down some then it would help things along a bit. So I did 2 pushes and the heart rate sank to the 50's. We looked at each other and she told me up on your hands and knees now! I don't know how I was able to move as fast as I did with that epidural but I was on my knees with my butt in the air in no time and the nurse pushed baby off my cervix and we waited. His heart rate came back up and I just sat there. They had me stay that way while they went to call the doctor to get the room ready for a c-section. 

I instantly asked BJ for a blessing. The nurse was doing whatever she was doing and BJ gave me blessing. He said that I would be able to push the baby out and things were going to happen as we had planned and prepared for. I was shocked. I had already prepared myself for getting a c-section. I didn't think that I was going to be able to push the baby out without his heart rate bottoming out. I didn't know what was going to happen but I just tried to relax and do what my nurse told me. 

My friend was scheduled for a c-section at noon but she got pushed back to 4:30. They had to push her back again because they needed the room open for me just in case and we also had the same doctor. I felt bad later that I was the reason she had to go all day without eating. 

Courtney came back in and explained what was going on. It was the same thing I told BJ so we just nodded and said ok. She had my flip back over and lay down on my right side. The heart rate started to drop so she had me flip to the left side. It didn't go back up so she had me get back up on my hands and knees. This time was a lot more difficult navigating all the tubes and wires that I was connected up with and not having much feeling in my legs. The heart rate came back up so she told me to stay that way. I put some pillows under my chest and just stayed there. I was so happy I got the epidural because being in that position would have made my legs fall asleep but since I was already numb and tingling it didn't really matter. Courtney came in an placed an internal monitor to measure the contractions since I was upside down the toco wasn't reading them. I asked if we were just waiting to see if I progressed and then go from there. That was the plan. So from about 4:45 to 6:45 I was on my hands and knees. I tired to read a book but I started to get sick. I laid my head down and closed my eyes and right when I started to feel better the doctor came in. He had me flip back over and I was complete finally!

He said that we were going to push the baby out and he would use the vacuum to help. He delivered Rylee with the the vacuum so I was comfortable with that idea. I remember laying there getting ready to push and thinking oh man can I get this little guy out fast enough!?! Then I thought of BJ's blessing and knew that I could do it. I just had to have faith and do the best pushing I would ever do! Once they got all the monitors off they had me push. With Rylee I had the mirror and watched the whole thing. I didn't open my eyes once this time. I was so focused on pushing and getting the baby out fast. With each push I told myself that I could do this. BJ said I could push him out and he would be ok. I could do this! Pushing with the oxygen mask is terrible and it suffocates you which is ironic. 

This time I could feel what was happening. Not so much pressure but like I was having just a regular bowel movement. I could feel his progression out. Once his head was out I didn't know what was going on so I asked if I was pushing or waiting. Everyone said "wait!!" all at the same time. The cord was wrapped around the baby's neck. I didn't even push to get the rest of him out. The weird part was I could feel the doctor through the cord. I don't remember that from Rylee. I thought it was a weird sensation. They laid him on top on me. It took what seemed like forever for him to finally cry. Later we looked too see how long I pushed. It took 8 minutes and about 5 contractions and he was out!

The greatest most spiritual experience anyone can have is a mother seeing her newborn baby for the first time. Best moment of 2013! I couldn't believe he was here! 

6:54 pm on 8/2/13 Charles Xavier Balls joined our family.

I watched the nurse do his apgar but didn't ask what it was or really pay attention. I couldn't get enough of his face and his hair! It took until after Rylee's bath for me to be smitten but I was instantly enchanted with this little guy. 

My nurse Debbie left while I was still butt in the air and I got a new nurse for delivery. When I was at Mountain View my last patient had a friend who was a nurse come visit her. I talked with her for a bit and found out she worked at madison in labor and delivery. When she walked into my room it took me a minute to figure out where I knew her. Once I connected the dots I told her and she remembered me. I don't know if that made the difference in her doing her job that night but she was amazing! She didn't take Charles from me at all. I held him and nursed him even before we did measuring and weighing.

8 pounds 6 ounces, same as his sister, 21 1/4 inches long, 14" head!

 I think I held him for a good hour before I gave him over to get his vitamin K and bathe. She was so sweet and hilarious. Once the epidural wore off I was able to get up and pee. I am still amazed at how much my bladder held. I hadn't peed since 3:30 and I sat there for a long time. My nurse came in and I was still peeing. I couldn't believe it!  I was so itchy all over from the epidural. It felt so great after showering.

 Not having any stitches made such a difference in recovery. I could get in and out of bed and I wasn't sore at all. Other then the terrible after pains while nursing and back hurting from the bed I felt great. I have tons of energy after the baby comes that it was nice to not be in any pain and be able to get up and around. Taking care of Charles was a breeze in the hospital and thankfully we only had to stay 2 nights. Rylee loves Charles and hasn't had one problem with him being home. Other then her drinking a lot more milk things are normal and Charles fits right in. 

His biliruben got up to 17 so we had to do the bililights again. I think he is just going to take his time doing everything because we are on day 3 and he has only come down to 16.3. We are working on getting him to poop and keeping him on the lights so we can someday leave the house again. 

So thankful for HGTV to keep us entertained on such a looonng and boring day!

Baby X! With Rylee I was so excited to see what she looked like. That's all I wanted was to see her face. I felt like I already knew what Charles looked like for some reason. As soon as I saw him I knew why! He looks exactly like Rylee. I probably said it a hundred times, " He looks just like Rylee!!" Now I can see differences, he has smaller lips, a smaller forehead, two dimples, and his nose looks bigger, and his eyes are set deeper making him have wrinkles on his cheeks which makes him have a scrunchy face that kills me! He looks just like his daddy did and is hairy just like his daddy was too!

This is the look of a mother very much in love and trying to say look at the cutest baby boy that has ever existed!! This was also taken like 15 minutes post delivery so don't judge. =]

I held on to the baby a whole lot longer this time around so BJ had to wait his turn.

My whole pregnancy BJ was almost indifferent about the baby. He was nothing like what he was with Rylee. Neither of us were really. We wanted another baby but the pregnancy was just inconvenient this time around. I have loved love loved watching him with Charles. The saying, "I never knew how much I loved your daddy until I saw how much he loved you" is the most true quote ever! He is the most smitten daddy. He wont admit it he loves newborns probably more then I do.

Big sister brought a present when she came to meet her brother and drew him a picture.

She wasn't sure about touching him but was happy to see him and didn't think anything of me holding a baby. It didn't phase her at all.

Our first family photo. I was dying to have Rylee come see us. I missed her so much while we were waiting around being bored. She would have made it more interesting. I couldn't be happier with my sweet little family. People always seem so bent on asking about the next one. For now, I am 100% in love with these perfect little beings and we are enjoying being their parents. If more are to follow, great. But we aren't thinking about that and wont be for awhile. This is our family and we couldn't ask for anything greater then this right now.

Grammy stayed and got to see Charles for an hour. She took Rylee over to Matt and Camille's to spend the night then took off early the next morning. Camille texted me the next morning and said the first thing Rylee said when she woke up was, "I want to go see mom and hold baby brother!" That just melted my heart. She loves her brother and is such a big help! Things worked out so perfectly. Heavenly Father really did guide us as to when to bring Charles into our family and I am so thankful we listened and followed the counsel we were given. I couldn't have planned it better then this. He came right on his due date and now all that is left to is take the NCLEX and to be a stay at home mom for the next little bit enjoying my little ones. We have started a whole new chapter and we couldn't be more excited to see what life brings.

Graduation fun!!

 Being 38 weeks pregnant and having family come in who wants to play was pretty tough. I tried my hardest to be up for anything and to keep a happy face on. Most of the time I was ok. I had a week of zero contractions so my energy wasn't completely drained.

 I decided not to walk. It seemed like a waste of money and being uncomfortable for one or two pictures in a cap and gown didn't seem worth it. I told BJ for my gift I wanted to have a REAL spa day with massage, pedicure, hair done, the works. Well we ended up buying a laptop instead. I mentioned it would be nice to get a pedicure so BJ made it happen. I must say getting a pedicure is top 5 favorite things to go. Love the feeling of having nice toes. The lady was awesome and it was well worth sitting and not being able to shift around for an hour.

 My cute sister in law Camille surprised me with a baby shower. They had me convinced it was graduation party for Matt and I. I told BJ we had to decorate for Matt and he said no. I was so worried Matt was going to feel shafted that I did nothing to prep for his party. I had super bad contractions all during church and was completely wiped out by the time everyone was suppose to show up. I put on my happy face and walked inside and saw this. She invited all of our Idaho family to come, my neighbors, and friends in the ward. It was small and sweet. Baby got some cute clothes and one or two items that are nice to have. The food was awesome. She was determined to throw one for me. I felt loved!

 My neighbor is due the same day as me and has 3 boys 5- 18 months. I offered to have the boys come over so she could go to the doctors in peace. Once they were here I realized I wasn't up for it so Mickey Mouse came one and everyone sat and watched. It worked out. Then right before their mom came back our cousins showed up. Liz drove up from Utah to play for a bit. We had 8 kids 5 and under here for a bit. Thank goodness for TV! After the boys left we went in the backyard and played in the sprinklers. We were waiting for grandpa to drive in so we could all go out to eat for graduation.

 Grammy came up a few days before graduation. I really wanted someone to be here to play with Rylee the week I have my NCLEX prep. Hopefully BJ will be out washing windows and Grammy said she would love to spend the week with Rylee. I feel bad there is half a week of zero things to do but Rylee has loved every minute of Grammy time. Its given BJ some well deserved rest too.

 Grandpa flew up just to do the graduation thing. We told Rylee he was coming and maybe he would be willing to ride the horses with her while he was here. She then talked of nothing else but riding the pink horse with grandpa. We tried really hard to make it happen.

 Thankfully grandpa made into town just in time to take one ride before dinner. All of the kids thought it was so fun to ride on the carousal.

 Bruce's talking in the shade while we waited to make our way over to dinner. They are so similar yet so different. I can't wait to see if this little guy will be a bruce III or look more like me. BJ is the exact replica of his dad at his age.

 We let Matt pick where to eat for dinner. He choose JB's. I think I was 10 the last time I ate there. It ended up being a great spot because we had the place pretty much to ourselves. With 6 kids under 6 it got pretty loud.  The food filled our tummy's and it was fun being with everyone.

 I don't know what we would do without Uncle BJ. All the kids LOOOOVE him so much. He spends pretty much every minute entertaining the kids. From playing dolls with the girls to rough housing he takes all of them and lets the rest of us talk. He is so tired at the end of the night from non stop play. The kids love it!

 Matt and I both happened to have blue on at dinner so I thought maybe we should get a picture of us. Don't mind the fact that my shirt is hardly covering my belly and my garment top is all scrunched up because my belly is so large. We both are pretty excited to be done with school!

Matt and his cute family couldn't really play much. Matt had class up until graduation and had lots of graduation events to attend. Since I opted out I was free to play but they were busy up until the last second. 

 Liz and her kids spent the night and we figured it would be fun to take them to our favorite spot, Warm River. It's about an hours drive but so worth it. We packed a lunch and headed up. The river is cold but you get use to it real quick. It is only ankle deep so it is perfect for kids to play. We took our inflatable boat with us and floated down the river. The kids had a blast.

 BJ and grandpa wanted to fish. Grandpa spent his whole time out on the river fighting the river floaters and heat to catch something. BJ only fished for a bit with the kids to see if they could catch one. BJ didn't have much luck but he was floating the river most of the time.

 Right before Liz and the kids left grandpa came back with 2 fish. Everyone was pretty excited about it. Rylee of course loved helping to gut and clean them. Warm river is the best location. We all had lots of fun. We made it back into town in time for the grandparents to meet up with Matt for graduation then we headed home. I found a dresser for the baby clothes and spent the night painting it and organizing all of his clothes. My sister in law Marie sent up bags of clothes for him so he is set for the next year. I was pretty excited to get all of that stuff. She sent up so much that the extra dresser was a need!

Once graduation came a part of me wanted to be there to celebrate one last time but having a few hours at home and laying in my bed was well worth it. I am glad we got to have lots of fun and celebrate with family.

Baby Boy

 34 weeks. He dropped so much then the next day was super high. He can't decide if he wants to stay down or not. It is really funny to watch my belly rise and lower. I really should take pictures each day to see where he is sitting.

This little guy hasn't been in the spot light very much. He kind of just is along for the ride right now. I haven't done anything that I did with Rylee. I feel my pregnancies have been pretty much the same with a few differences. He is less wiggly then Rylee. He is awake all night long where Rylee always was awake during the day. I have had contractions with him and not Rylee. Other then that, same complaints, same pains, same same same.

One thing different is nesting. I remember wanting to have a car seat and stroller for Rylee but I didn't decorate for her or care to have everything in order. I can't help but make sure things are perfect before he gets here. My poor husband. I came home from class and looked at the living room. I started picking eveything up then had him move it all around. The next week I walked into Rylee's room and just started moving things. He came in and moved the bed to where I wanted then we moved onto our room and rearranged it. I had him move the kitchen around and then felt good about the house. 2 weeks after that I had to wash all of his clothes and fold them. Then on Tuesday I was suppose to spend the day studying for a test and the only thing I could think about was the car seat out in the shed, the swing that was in pieces, the stroller parts that were all around the house. I had an hour before I had to take my test and I finally went and grabbed everything and got to work scrubbing away. My wonderful husband didn't even ask he just went to work putting things together. I finally said ok great I can take my test now. He just chuckled. I don't know why I have such nesting cravings but I just have to have it done. I think all I really need for him are a few sleepers but I'm waiting to see what the weather will really be like, a pacifier, and that's it.

I don't know if working in labor has made me have all these crazy labor dreams or what. I have given birth to this little guy multiple times in my dreams. Once the soccer dreams of me being the keep and pregnant ended I started giving birth every other night. Maybe that is why I have this overwhelming thought he wants to come over the 4th of July. I have no idea why I have that feeling. I am going to be so disappointed/ relived when he doesn't come. I guess I will just look forward to an ultrasound that week instead.

I think we finally have a name for him. We still are going back and forth between 3 names. It is just so weird to not have a name for him. We named Rylee the day after we found out it was a girl. I called her Rylee Aden from then on out. I just call this one baby brother.

Rylee doesn't really care about baby brother. She knows he is there and will include him when we remind her but that's the extent of it. My heart melted the other day when I was laying on the couch and baby brother was making my tummy move all over. Rylee rubbed my belly and laughed. I told her baby brother was saying hi. She thought that was so amazing. She had so much fun watching him move all over. She ran and made BJ come see that baby brother was saying "hi rylee!" We just smiled at each other and enjoyed watching her be amazed. I am sure she will love him and adjust just fine.

I'm so ready for school to be over and to just enjoy my babies. I'm ready to be a mom of two and watch Rylee become a big sister. I think I am looking forward to that more then being done with school.

Preceptorship

My last NCW (nursing care worksheet) ever. I truly hate those things! 

I was more then excited to start my precetorship because I wanted more time to see if I really did want to be a Labor and Delivery nurse. My first day I did postpartum. I love love love love love love love postpartum. I think my child development background and doing my internship with Parents as Teachers really made my love grow working with moms and their children. That is exactly what postpartum is. I get to make sure they are healthy and I get to teach moms about their babies. Even experienced moms have questions and being there to answer and support them as parents is by far the most rewarding paying job ever.

It was the first time I could walk into a room and not worry about not knowing the answer to questions or wondering what else I could really do. I knew what was going on. I knew the answers to everyone's questions (minus policy questions) and I was confident in my role without my nurse. That has not happened in any other semesters.

I was kind of let down with the hospital at first. It was very old school. Things we learned in school was oh you wont ever do it this way, was the way the hospital had it. It just scared me a bit. More errors are made the old way and you have to be even more careful then careful. My thought about labor and postpartum have changed drastically since this semester. I am even at the point of switching back to an OB from the midwives. When you learn and see what really goes down each day in the world of labor it is scary and sad! Walking out of a room with a healthy mom and baby is such a relief each and every time it happens. Thankfully I didn't experience anything too tramatic and we were able to keep everyone well but there were way too many close calls. I mean super close calls.

I really like labor and delivery but there are so many things we didn't learn. I now understand why hospitals rarely hire inexperienced L&D nurses. I think I would be more comfortable getting on postpartum and getting experience with labor before working full time there. I need to learn and expereince so much more before I think I could be confident enough to be the nurse.

I ended up loving every shift. It was hard on my pregnant body but I wasn't alone. Nurses are mainly women which means lots of pregnant mamas working. You don't get off easy. You are expected to work. So I did. I loved it. I don't think I will be looking for employment at that hospital but I will try my hardest to get onto maternity. That is by far the best nursing job there is. Hands down.  

Warm River

 BJ wanted to get a fishing license for Father's day. Since I had to be at the hospital on Father's day we went camping the weekend before. We went up to Warm River and it is now my all time favorite camp group. We were right on the river. It was super shallow and not too strong. Rylee loves everything about water. We played while BJ fished.

 BJ caught about 4 or 5 total but only kept the 2 biggest. He was dying to show Rylee the fish and really wanted to eat some. I wasn't really into the whole idea but I went along with it. Rylee never ceases to amaze me. I thought she was going to be grossed out or at least sad about killing the fish. NOPE! She was all about hitting them on the head, using her knife to help cut them open, and cleaning them with her daddy. She loves doing anything with her dad. We took them home and I cooked them up and was actually surprised at how tasty they were. The tiny bones were annoying but all three of us gobbled them up in no time.

 She loves to cut anything and everything with knifes!

I love capturing daddy daughter moments. Rylee loves her daddy more then anything. I still get the mom title thankfully but when it comes down to it, her daddy is #1. I am more then happy about that. The more time they spend together the greater their relationship grows. I hope they stay best friends!